


totally not spying on you ( ok maybe we were )

by orphan_account



Series: secretly married [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Maria Hill, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22279255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: when a mysterious woman shows up at the BAU looking for emily, the team can't help but be suspicious. so they spy on her.(post tws)
Relationships: Maria Hill/Emily Prentiss
Series: secretly married [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603645
Kudos: 78





	totally not spying on you ( ok maybe we were )

**Author's Note:**

> dont @ me my stories succ
> 
> imma ship Maria Hill with every character i know cause im currently obsessed with her

Derek Morgan is never nervous. But he swears that the woman looking for Emily is hiding three knives in her combat boots. And those are the only ones that he can count and see. 

"Excuse me, is Emily Prentiss here?" The woman asks, looking at Derek with big, round eyes. Derek shakes his head. Ever since Doyle, he's gotten more protective of her. One can never be too careful.

"Well, do you want me to take a message?" Derek questions, taking out a pen and paper.

"Can you just tell her that Maria Hill was here?"

Derek writes it down, then thinks. He swears he's heard that name before. He doesn't think much about it, and even if he wants to ask, the woman is long gone.

-

They've just come out from the conference room when Derek stops Emily.

"This is for you. A woman came earlier, name's Maria Hill."

Emily's face morphs into a one of fear, and she bolts. “Hey guys! Oh good, you’re here too, JJ,” Garcia had come out of her office at the end of the day in search of the team. “Do you guys wanna go out for drinks tonight? And where’s Emily?”

“She left early,” Morgan told her.

“What? Early?” Spencer said, “Our workday ends…” he checked the time, “... Now. She already left?”

“It’s definitely early for Emily,” JJ said.

“Yeah, it is,” Hotch said, “How did I not notice?”

“She didn’t say goodbye today,” Morgan said, “She got a message from somebody and left.”

“Ooh!” Garcia exclaimed, “Do you think she has a boyfriend?”

“She has been acting strangely,” Morgan agrees. "But when she received the message, her face was filled with fear."

"You don't think..." JJ trails off, not willing to finish the thought.

"No, Emily's a big girl, she'll come to us if she needs help. Did the person leave a name?" Hotch says.

"Maria Hill."

"Garcia, run a background check."

-

When Emily reaches home, she's greeted with a surprise. Maria is sitting there, blood all over her, with chinese take out on the table. "Oh god." Emily breathes, reaching to her wife for a kiss. "What happened to you?"

"HYDRA. SHIELD's gone." Maria huffs, wincing when Emily cleans up the deep cut caused by Rumlow.

"I'm sorry." Emily says as she gets the first aid box. She knows how much SHIELD meant to Maria, how it helped her escape from her old, abusive life. 

"I'll get over it. Stark offered me a job." Maria replies, taking a deep breath as Emily starts to stitch up her cuts. 

"Did you take it?" Emily asks, focusing on the stitching. "I hope you do, so you can annoy Stark to no end."

Maria lets out a full blown laughter. A laugh that actually reaches her eyes. "If you want me to." Maria comments as Emily finishes the stitching. Emily bandages it up, and Maria is happy that she has such an amazing wife.

"Sure, since both you and him have the same mentality to act first, think later."

"That was one time, Emily-"

"You bled all over my white carpet! Is it so hard to stop by medical on the way home?"

"Whatever, today Jasper thought I was married to Captain America. He said - and I quote - 'Your connection to Captain Rogers is a liability.' Like just because my marriage is Level 13 clearance, doesn't mean you can say this shit."

"Where is he now?"

"Dead, rotting in hell."

-

"Are you sure we should be doing this? Isn't this considered invasion of privacy?" Spencer asks as they pull up to Emily's front door.

"Well, she might be in danger. So invasion of privacy doesn't seem so bad." Morgan snorts. When the team glares at him he apologises. 

"Bad joke. M sorry."

They get out of the car and walks to Emily's door. When no one answers, Hotch kicks down the door, only to be greeted by the same woman, now with a Glock 26 aimed at Spencer's head and in her other hand, a knife.

"FBI! Where's Emily Prentiss and what have you done with her?" Hotch barks. The woman rolls her eyes and calls Emily to the door. Emily sticks her head out one of the rooms, and runs to the door.

"Hotch? JJ? What are y'all doing here?" Emily questions, looking puzzled. "Ria, put down the knife."

The woman in question lowers the knife, tucking it into her boots. "And the gun." Emily huffs. The woman obliges, handing the gun to Emily, who unloads it.

"We thought you were in danger..." Morgan says, looking around the room. He spots a wedding photo, with Emily and the woman in question. 

"You're married?" JJ squeaks, as her eyes land on the photo hanging above the couch. Emily gives her questioning eyes, glancing at the photo. "Have I never told you guys?" Emily asks. When the team shakes their head, the woman introduces herself. 

"Maria Hill, VP of security for Stark Industries. Come on in." Maria smiles and reaches out her hand for shaking. The team takes it, except for Spencer, but Maria doesn't blame him. She just threatened to kill her wife's team member. 

"Prentiss... why is there blood everywhere?" Hotch asks as he scans the room. There's alarming amounts of blood on the floor and on the take out plastic bag. 

"Did you just bleed all over my carpet? Again?"

"One time, Emily. One time-"

"Medical is on the way home, is it that hard for Tony to patch you up?"

"Sure, Bruce can patch me up, but I had to prepare a fake funeral for Fury then..."

While the duo fights, JJ asks, "Most of these stuff is illegal and I doubt Emily would want us here. Should we stay?" 

"Yeah, this is entertaining." Morgan smirks as he watches them argue.

"...can shove that up his ass-"

"You technically can't shove paper up your-"

"I'll shove this gun up your ass the next time you don't go to medical when you're injured." Emily threatens, disarming the gun she plucked out from Maria's back.

"Fine, but you owe me take out." Maria rolls her eyes as she takes out all the knives on her body. Morgan pales as he counts about eight. And that's only her legs.

"It's your blood on the take out. Why do I owe you food?" 

"Because I'm the injured one!"

"Can y'all stop shoving things up your ass. It's getting annoying and weird." Morgan whines as Maria starts pulling a knife from her bun. How she kept it hidden, Morgan doesn't want to know.

"Oh yeah, take a seat. Don't just stand there." Emily says as she picks up the carpet, purposely bumping into Maria as she walks by.

"How long do you think she'll be mad?" Spencer asks.

"If I play my cards right, most probably tonight she'll be fine." Maria smirks as the team groans. 

The door bell rings and in comes Natasha Romanov. "Why'd ring the doorbell when you can just pick the lock and come in, Nat?" Maria snarks as she unpacks the take outs.

"To let you know I'm here. Where's Emily?" Natasha questions, pulling a pistol out of her shoe.

"Bled on her white carpet." Maria comments as Emily walks out of a room. "Just keep all your weapons, Nat. I think my team has seen enough." Emily huffs as she takes a take out box and starts eating. "So why are y'all here?" Maria asks as she takes another take out box and gives it to Natasha. "We thought you were in trouble." Hotch says.

"Why?" 

"Because when Morgan gave you the message, he said you looked so... fearful." Rossi says. Emily blinks, and starts to laugh. The rest of the people in the room look at her, confusion evident on their faces.

"I was scared for her, not of her." Emily says, "And if she every tries anything, which I know she won't, I have trainings in at least five martial arts. But thanks. It's cute how y'all care for me.". Maria rolls her eyes and walks back to the kitchen. When she comes out, there are several cups of tea and coffee. Emily takes the tea, and Maria takes coffee.

"Your coffee addiction is becoming unhealthy." 

"You're telling this to the Deputy Director of SHIELD, who only sleeps five hours a week?"

"Yes, because it's unhealthy!"

"Guys..." JJ says. "What's SHIELD? I thought you worked for Stark Industries."

"Whatever, Nat already dumped all of our information on the internet, call your techie." Maria smiles, drinking her coffee while looking pointedly at Emily. Morgan starts dailing Garcia's phone.

"Hey Chocolate Thunder. What can I do for you?" Maria chokes on her coffee, and proceeds to laugh so hard that she falls over.

"Hey mama, you're on speaker. Can you run a check on the Deputy Director of SHIELD?" 

"Well that explains the choking sound I heard. Oh! SHIELD is the intelligent agency that crashed and burned! Searching... and..." Maria rolls her eyes, crossing her arms.

"Talk to me, baby girl. Whatcha find?"

"Deputy Director Maria Hill. Clearance Level for SHIELD is Level 13 so in FBI terms... she has higher clearance than Chief Stratuss. Married to... EMILY PRENTISS? Oh Emily the next time I see you, I will smack you. "

"Expecting nothing less, Penelope." Emily snarks sarcastically, grabbing the coffee cup from Maria's hands while pointedly looking at her. She sets it down in front of her.

"So, how did you two meet?" Garcia gushes. "Tell me everything!"

"I thought she was a stalker and I might... have broke her arm." Maria says awkwardly, scratching the back of her head.

"I was trying to return her purse!" Emily clarifies when the team looks at her with questioning eyes.

"Uh huh." Maria smirks. "I felt bad and I bought her lunch. Then one lunch turned into two, which turned into about a hundred. And three years later, we got married on a beach in the Caribbean and this year we're celebrating our eleven year anniversary."

"So touching, Maria. I'm so inspired." Emily says sarcastically, wiping a fake tear from her eye. Maria punches Emily on the arm, who returns it with a pinch which makes Maria yelp.

"That's so cute!" Garcia gushes. "I wish I had such a loving husband."

Morgan immediately coughs, which makes the team look at him. "Uh, Garcia? Anything you want to tell us?" Emily says, smirking.

"No... anyway, I got to go, I'm having dinner with Morgan!" Garcia says and hangs up

"Uh huh. This whole room is now filled with too much sexual tension, and I haven't seen my wife in... three months. So if you please kindly leave, that would be appreciated." Maria says, smiling as she opens the door.

The team groans when they hear that, but give the couple the privacy they need. 

Maria stops Spencer on the way out, reaching her hand out. "Sorry about... that. I'm just protective." Maria shrugs. Spencer takes her hand, and shakes it. "You too, Romanov!" Emily shouts, making Natasha emerge from her hiding spot. Natasha smirks and shouts a 'have fun!' Once they leave, Maria starts attacking Emily's neck. 

"Mhmm, are you always so eager?"

"Three months, woman. I'm so horny that I can't wait."


End file.
